What is Neuroaffirming Therapy (And Why It Matters)

If you’ve ever sat in a therapy session and felt like your child was being squeezed into a mold they clearly weren’t made for—hi, same. That’s exactly why I made the shift to a neuroaffirming approach in my practice. It’s not just a buzzword. It’s a perspective that changed everything for me—both as a speech-language pathologist and as a mom to two neurodivergent kiddos.

So, let’s talk about it. What is neuroaffirming therapy? Why does it matter? And how is it different from the old-school therapy models many of us were trained in (or experienced firsthand)?

Let’s Start with the Basics: What Does “Neuroaffirming” Mean?

At its core, neuroaffirming therapy is about respecting and honoring neurological differences. That includes autism, ADHD, sensory processing differences, and more. Rather than viewing these traits as problems to be “fixed,” neuroaffirming therapy sees them as natural variations of the human brain.

Think of it this way: We don’t try to make left-handed kids write with their right hand anymore, right? (At least I hope not.) Neuroaffirming therapy applies that same kind of respect to how a child communicates, learns, processes the world, and interacts with others.

It’s about meeting kids where they are—not where a standardized chart says they should be.

So... What Does That Look Like in a Session?

Glad you asked! Here are a few ways neuroaffirming therapy shows up in my practice:

• We ditch the “compliance-first” mindset. Instead of focusing on eye contact, sitting still, or “quiet hands,” we focus on authentic connection, communication, and supporting regulation.

• Stimming is welcome. Flapping, bouncing, spinning—if it helps a child feel calm or joyful, we don’t shut it down. We support it and create safe space for it.

• Goals are meaningful and personal. I work with families to set therapy goals that align with the child’s needs, values, and interests—not just what a test score suggests.

• We collaborate. A lot. Parents, siblings, teachers, and even pets (yes, pets!) are part of the picture. Therapy isn’t a bubble—it’s part of real life.

  "Connection over Compliance."

Why I Use This Approach (and What Shifted for Me)

Here’s the honest truth: I didn’t always practice this way.

Like many therapists, I was trained in a more traditional model—one that often focused on deficits, correction, and pushing toward “normal.” It never quite sat right with me, but I didn’t have the language or perspective to name what felt off.

Then I became a parent navigating therapy from the other side of the table. Both our son and youngest daughter are neurodivergent. Immediately went from the role of therapist and suddenly I was the mom sitting in sessions, feeling unheard, misunderstood, and even judged. We cycled through therapists. I cried in parking lots. I felt like we were failing her—when really, the system was failing her.

That experience lit a fire in me. I dove headfirst into strength-based, neurodiversity-affirming training. I listened to autistic and other neurodivergent voices showing thier lived experiences. I learned from the disability community. I examined my own biases and practices—and I shifted.

And honestly? I’m never going back.

How It’s Different from Traditional Models

Here’s a side-by-side peek to make it crystal clear:

Traditional Therapy	Neuroaffirming Therapy
Focus on “fixing” deficits	Focus on supporting strengths and needs
Goals often based on age-norms or societal standards	Goals based on real-life function and individual values
Emphasis on eye contact, sitting still, acting or appearking "normal".	Emphasis on comfort, regulation, and authentic interaction
One-size-fits-all approaches	Tailored strategies that celebrate neurodiversity
Often adult-led	Collaborative, child-centered, and flexible

Neuroaffirming therapy doesn’t mean we throw out structure or strategy. It just means we use those tools in a way that supports the whole child—not a checklist.

Why It Matters (So Much)

Because your child deserves to be seen, heard, and supported as they are. Not after they change. Not if they conform. Now.

Because parents deserve providers who listen and partner with them.

And because when we stop trying to change kids to fit the system—and start changing the system to fit them—beautiful things happen.

Kids light up. Families breathe easier. Progress happens—not in forced baby steps, but in big, joyful leaps that actually matter.

Final Thoughts

Neuroaffirming therapy isn’t just a shift in practice—it’s a shift in perspective. It’s about compassion, respect, and meeting each child with the care they deserve. And it’s what guides everything I do in my practice.

Whether you're new to this idea or already deep in the affirming journey, I hope this post helped shine some light and give you language for what you may already be feeling.

Got questions? Thoughts? A story to share? Drop it in the comments or shoot me a message—I’d love to connect.

Let’s keep doing therapy differently. The kind that listens, learns, and lifts kids up for who they already are.

Talk soon, Kayla (Speech therapist, hockey mom, garden digger, and advocate for doing better—for our kids and for each other.)